Unedited Raw Script:
© Shields Bialasik
This is a story about a friend of mine. I don’t know if you know him or not, but his name is Fryer Tuck. Fryer Tuck and Ralph have been thinking about flying for a long time, and after they saw fat King Max fluttering outside their bedroom window the other night, boy they were really inspired. It was time to get into the air and Fryer Tuck had lots of ideas. Now normally people would start at the beginner level and work their way up, but Fryer Tuck had decided to go right to the top. He wanted to build a rocket. Now building a rocket is not that easy to do because if you understand the idea it takes a lot of work and it takes a lot of time. You need to have engines that can blast you up into the sky. You need to have spacesuits and wings and all sorts of controls that can talk to the earth when you’re far, far away. You need to have maps and charts and understand how to sail where no one has gone before. It’s actually quiet difficult but Fryer Tuck and Ralph seemed content to go into space. Fryer Tuck didn’t care, he was gonna build a rocket come however he did it. The first thing Fryer Tuck woke up in the morning, he was ready to build that rocket. Okay Ralph, let’s build the rocket. I been thinking all night about it in my sleep, and of course he could because hamsters dream in there sleep. They dream in color, and they dream in sound. They can make all sorts of plans when they’re sleeping. Can you do that? Well Fryer Tuck sure did because he woke up in the morning went right down to the kitchen table, poured himself a bowl of cold cereal and then took out a pencil and took out a pen and continued to draw for about two hours straight til he mapped out all the plans, and the rocket looked great. Now are you ready for happened next? Because Fryer Tuck went downstairs and took apart a few of his toys. He went out into the garage and took apart some more. He took a wheel off the car and a handle off the door. He took the bicycle seat and the chain, and he took the lawn mower and then he headed back down to his workshop. Ralph was busy thinking of spacesuits. Fryer Tuck had put him in charge of the fashion, and Ralph was upstairs now looking through the closets. Spacesuits, spacesuits I know we’ve worn spacesuits. Was it this Halloween or last? I’ve got to find them. They were buried at the bottom of the clothing pile, and Ralph looked through them quickly. Now you see they had worn them and they were there, but they were missing a few things. They would also need helmets and very soon Ralph had found the spacesuits, but he knew they needed helmets. So he went down to Fryer Tuck who was busy hammering and nailing and making all sorts of noises. Ralph was about to say something to Fryer Tuck but he looked to busy to interrupt him. No Ralph not now, please don’t interrupt me but Fryer Tuck I need to ask I must point out something. Fryer Tuck just turned his head and said Ralph I’m sorry not now. Now Ralph said he said take care of the helmets, Ralph. We need helmets and food. So Ralph quickly ran back upstairs and grabbed the helmets and looked for the food. Now where would you get helmets but at a bike shop? Ralph climbed on the bicycle and rode down the street to the bike shop taking his big and long grocery list for the food that they would need. To the bike shop he went and in the bike shop Ralph picked out the two coolest helmets he could find. One was black and one was silver. He would be the captain in silver and Fryer Tuck would be the captain in black. Then quickly he jumped back on the bicycle wearing now the spacesuit helmet and pedaled a little ways back up the hill to the grocery store where he proceeded to walk to the counter. Now Fryer Tuck and Ralph, of course, aren’t allowed to shop for groceries so they must hand the list over to somebody to shop for them, and the person went in and started shopping and they had the long list and pretty soon they came back with a cart full of food. Most of it ice cream and butter and chips and salsa and things that might not last so long unless they were in a cooler. Ralph quickly put them in the bike and began to ride home back to the refrigerator where he put them in. Now Fryer Tuck was now building and building up the stairs. The rocket was giant and now he had built it straight through floor. He took a saw and cut a hole right through the floor. The rocket was growing right out of the floor. Now I don’t know if you’re thinking what I’m thinking but Ralph was sure thinking how are we gonna get this rocket out of our house? Fryer Tuck build all of the next day and all the night and by the time he was done the rocket went all through the house. It went through the floor in the basement. It went through the floor in the living room. It went through the floor in the bedroom right next to the bunk bed where Ralph was sleeping. Fryer Tuck built it out. It went through the ceiling of the house and it looked like a giant chimney. Now Fryer Tuck called to Ralph and woke him up early, and he said today’s the day that we’ll be going to space. Ralph quickly clapped his hands and began to race around. I’m ready he said let’s get on our suits. They jumped into the uniforms and prepared for launch. He went and took the refrigerator and put it inside of the spaceship. They had an extension cord that had plugged the refrigerator in. The refrigerator had plugged into the wall. The extension cord was long, but probably not long enough that it could reach all the way up to space and keep the food cold. But Fryer Tuck said don’t worry, it’s cold in space anyways. The ice cream won’t melt because it will be kept up there and fresh besides if it melted, he would lick it all up and it wouldn’t be anything left. So Fryer tuck and Ralph were now beginning countdown. They had their suits on. They had their helmets on. They had their food and all their supplies. The rocket was inside of their house. Now Ralph said Fryer Tuck are you sure this is a good idea because what if you blast off and it blows apart our house? We won’t have a place to come back to when we return back to earth. Fryer Tuck said don’t worry I’ve engineered it just perfectly. It’s going to shoot straight up and we’ll have a hole in our house but that’s where we will put our new chimney when we’re back. Now what do you thinks gonna happen? Fryer Tuck began the countdown. It was a very quick countdown. A five, four, three, two, one blastoff. He pushed the buttons and the engine started. There were two giant fans that he’d taken down from the ceiling. They looked like propellers and not really engines but they sure started working. Only there was one problem the fins to the rocket were stuck in the roof. The fins to the stabilizer rocket were stuck in the bottom of the house. As the rocket started lifting up and tearing and pulling forward, instead of breaking out of the house, what did it do? It lifted the house out of the ground. It lifted the house straight up into space. Fryer Tuck and Ralph had blasted their home. Everything living room and kitchen and bedroom and dinning room sink up into space where the rocket now flew. So what do you think of that? Ralph looked out the window expecting to see the earth but all he said was our living room is still here. Are you sure Fryer Tuck this is working? Now Fryer Tuck himself was a little confused because the instruments all said they were hundreds of miles away from the earth, but when he looked out all he saw was his living room. Okay Ralph I’ll go out and see. Let’s check this and fix and see what we’ve done. Now they both climbed out of the rocket and into their house onto the living room couch, and then that’s when Fryer Tuck screamed. He looked out the window and there he could see. It was the planet Earth floating far, far away. Oh my gosh Ralph he said we’ve blown. We’ve taken our house. We’re now in space and it was true. Fryer Tuck and Ralph were the first house in space and the next story will come soon. That’s the end of this story for tonight.